All I Want

I stand in your bedroom,
   trying to think your thoughts
      when you slept and dreamed here.

In this room
you formulated your worldview
and became a giant among men.

Here you played the guitar and serenaded sweethearts.

Here you labored late, studying your ass off for exams whose purposes never came to full fruition.

Here you shed your boyhood and became a man.

I would trade a lifetime and eternity
   to hear you have sex again,
      to hear you fiddle and fight with your girlfriend.
Even though these things
bothered me to death when you were alive.

I wanna knock on your door again and give you the money I owed you.
I wanna turn the knob again, only to discover that your door is locked.

I'm a little sadistic,
   but really I just want
my brother back.

We don't know what we have till it's gone.
2/21/11